5 strategies to stop comparing yourself to others and detox your spirit

When I was a child, my parents always compared me to others. I didn’t like it at all. One day, I argued with my parents: “How can you compare an apple with an orange?” Well, you might be able to guess the result – yup, I got my punishment for talking back to them. Well, that is not my point here. My point is that comparing ourselves to others doesn’t make us become others, and it is meaningless.

We all compare ourselves to other people. We have the tendency to look at what others have while we don’t. People can make comparisons like, “I wish I were as rich as them.” or “He is a better speaker than I.” or “I wish I could make the same level of income like so-and-so.” This is often unconscious. While comparison may motivate us to better ourselves, constantly comparing ourselves to others can lead to negative thoughts such as envy, jealousy, complacency or low-self-esteem, and leave us constantly unfulfilled or unhappy which inhibits our personal growth. Comparison creates stress. And if you thrive off of negativity, drama and conflict, and let the feelings of jealousy, frustration, and hopelessness continue by comparing yourself to others, it’s a sign that you need a spiritual detox. Because your soul may be trapped in a negative cycle that will need your conscious effort to break free.

So is there any benefit to seeing how we stack up against others? And if there isn’t, how can we stop? Here are some strategies you can take to stop comparing yourself to others.

1. Compare yourself to the you of yesterday.

Consider measuring rather than comparing. You can measure the work you do today with the goals you set yesterday. You can measure progress toward your goals and focus on improving your health. See your own success. Commit to growing a little bit each day, and learn to celebrate the little advancements you are making without comparing them to others.

2. Count your blessings, focus on your strengths.

Practice gratitude by journaling daily a list of things you are thankful for. Gratitude always forces us to recognize the good things we already have in our world. There’s always something, even just one thing that you can be thankful for. Be proud of what you’ve accomplished. The list could be general or specific, let this list serve as a reminder of your strengths.

3. Detox Your spirit.

You can pray or meditate to detox your spirit. Try being positive for three weeks. In those three weeks, make yourself think positive thoughts on purpose. Avoid spending the time on social media that may trigger negativity. Spend some time in nature.

4. Focus on the journey.

Life is a journey, not a competition. Don’t focus on how you rank in comparison to others. We are all on a journey to search, to become, to learn, or to create something. Your life is your own journey, it has nothing to do with how well other people are doing, or what they have.

5. Keep your vision in mind.

A clear vision of who and where you want to be will motivate you to keep moving forward. If you haven't thought about or are unsure of your vision, now is the time to think about it. Take your eyes off your current problems, frustrations and shortcomings and set your sights on that vision. Keep working toward it, one step at a time. As you get closer and closer to your dreams, I assure you that all comparisons will fade away.

Julie Hsu M.Ed, ACC, CPC, ELI-MP (ICF Accredited Coach)

Certified Professional Life Coach | Energy Leadership Coach | Career Transition Coach | Trainer & Facilitator